I'm Too Cool to Try

I used to be someone who just flew by the seat of their pants. I remember in college, I was asked to speak in front of a group of incoming freshmen. I didn't prepare anything. Seriously. Not one single note card. Speaking in front of a thousand people and I thought, "I don't need to prepare. I'm awesome, I got this.
I'll just say what comes to me." Well, guess what, nothing came to me. I was this kid on the left. I'm kidding, it wasn't quite that bad, but it was definitely an experience I look back on and wish I would've done it differently. I always thought I was too cool and smart to prepare for things. I didn't need to actually try.

Everything always came so easily to me. Oh, my friends, how wrong I was. 

I thought things came easily to me - because I didn't try. I didn't try things I knew I would potentially fail or would be challenging. And when something came up that was challenging, I intentionally wouldn't try so if I did fail, then I could say, "well, I didn't really even try." Trust me, this sounds even crazier to me than it does to you. I finally realized, I was afraid of failure. I was so afraid that I wouldn't even try. I covered it up really well by pretending that I didn't care to even try new things, those things were for un-cool people, not me. Again. #craycray

I'd start projects or things and then when the going got tough, I'd be out. I'd make up excuses about how I didn't have time and I just couldn't finish it.  It really wasn't until reading NurtureShock (and marrying the single biggest excuse-hater on the planet) I started realizing what was at the root of my inability to start and/or follow through with things.

Fear of failure.

I was always told I was athletic, smart, whatever. So, when I'd get challenged, I'd get totally freaked out if I couldn't do it or didn't know the answer. I've since learned that your brain and willpower are like muscles, the more you use them the bigger and stronger they get, but you have to challenge them.

I've started being more intentional about my goal setting and taking on challenges (and sticking to them!) I never would've in the past (CrossFit, Advocare, etc.) - and actually *gasp* preparing for things. I look at this 'chart' a lot as a reminder of daily actions I need to shoot for.

There are several items in the green column that I'm working on. Primarily, setting goals and achieving them, which I plan on sharing more with you later this week (God willing). 

Is there anything you've been 'too cool' to try, or made excuses for not? I'd love to know I'm not the only reformed crazy one :)

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